Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

A lot of people are really going to hate me for this, but... I did not like Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Oh dear. 

PIPEPANICFTW PRESENTS

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, AND WHY I FEAR FOR THE SEQUELS.

Before I start, I must say this is not the worst sequel or the worst movie this year. Its just not what I think the Planet of the Apes should be.

Now when I here the word "action" I think of Edger Wright, Transformers (unfortunately) , and Planet of the Apes. When I here drama, I think The Notebook, Shortland Street (unfortunately) and DAWN of the Planet of the Apes.

The first half can just be composed of this. 

Human - "The virus nearly wiped us out, and the power is over there, where the killer apes are. What do we do? WE WILL JUST ASK NICELY!" 

Lead Ape - "Oh, I thought you attack us. My wife dying. Have your power"

Evil Ape - "You make mistake. I go shot 2 idiots." 

*talking, talking, talking, talking. Bond between human and ape happens* 

Human - "Lets be friends!"

Ape - "OK, oh but I have been shot by the evil ape. *dies* " 

Evil Ape - "Human totes shot him. WAR!"

Every Ape EVER - "K"

Now look at the poster.

That looks like a blockbuster. A action movie. What Dawn of the Planet of the Apes should have been. 

This another poster.

That looks like a Disney Nature movie. A drama movie. What Dawn of the Planet of the Apes really is. The thing is, the movie is not that bad. When the action is there, it does not feel forced. It feels natural (not like Micheal Bay's new Robo-flop). Its the drama and talking that feels forced. Feels unnatural. Feels wrong. And before you ask, yes I do enjoy movies like Forest Gump. But its Planet of the Apes! Its not a franchise you know for being kind and chatty. 

The poster has a ape on a horse (Oh, and the horse's you see like once or twice. Huh?) with a gun. That is the definition of action! How can they get Planet of the Apes? How?

THIS MOVIE THE AWARD OF LOOK IT UP! (1/3)

 Maybe I should not put this up... oh well.

9

This movie... is... pretty mediocre. And I love it!

PIPEPANICFTW PRESENTS

 9: BEST OK MOVIE EVER!

9 is one of my favorite movies... and I have no idea why!  Maybe its the fact it is directed by one of my favorite directors, Tim Burton. Or maybe it stars Elijah Wood, the man who stars Frodo in Lord if the Rings. Whatever it is, I love everything about 9. I mean, look at the poster.

That poster is awesome. Its has a dark, depressing tone and yet it still keeps that epic vibe. It is great. So lets look at the movie.

The story is... really weird. Apparently, we made robots to help win the war, but the creator makes a bo-bo and now those robots can kill and suck out people's souls. Why not? So we died (Thanks Obama) and the key to the robots return (yeah most of them are shut down. I wonder why.) is in a puppet that the creator of the robot brings to life. (He made 9 and split his soul into each one. So 9 sackboys are roaming around.) Oh and he died. Yes. So now 9 has to find and protect all 8 of the other puppets. Spoiler alert, he protects 3 puppets and the rest die. And even before that, 9 awakens a robot that is worse then the other robot. Our hero ladies and gentleman.  

The acting is OK. Its not horrible, but its not great ether. Its kinda generic. But you are not focusing on acting when the animation is just beautiful. Its dark, scary and uncomfortably strange. But in a good way. The monster's (robots) look creepy as hell, and 9 looks really cool. Also, this is probably Tim Burton's most subtle movie. There is nothing to big or strange, but it doesn't look boring. And the script. Oh god everything that anyone says is like butter. Nice, warm ans really bad for you. Maybe not the last one. But it still is cool.

I you have not seen this movie, go watch it right now. Its dark. Its creepy. Its great.

I GIVE 9 THE AWARD HUG IT (3/3)